This stage just now feels like you're waiting around. Waiting for your leave to start, waiting for the final deliveries of things to arrive. You're just waiting.
I've still been ill and been diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum. It's crap and if I have one more person tell me "it's just morning sickness", I think I may have to just kill them! I'll have days where I'm fine and then suddenly, 14 hours of throwing up and feeling like I'm going to die. It makes me just sit there and cry because there isn't really anything you can do about it.
My latest midwife appointment was also interesting. The lady had a student midwife with her which I love as it means they go through everything in extreme detail which makes me feel a lot better. It makes me feel like if there was something, even tiny wrong, they'd find it. We're also now at the point where they start measuring your bump and try to feel where you baby is lying. Ours is basically standing up against my right side. It was also nice to learn that our district now offers you three scans instead of two. Before, you would normally be offered them at 12 weeks and 20 weeks whereas now, you'll be offered one at 36 weeks as well. It's a great move as there is such a long gap between 20 weeks and 40 weeks that anything could happen and you wouldn't know!
We've also got Christmas coming up. I'm usually one for trying to get around to seeing everyone but this year with feeling so crap, I'll mainly be throwing myself at the mercy of my mum and dad. I think when you're pregnant, you naturally gravitate towards your mum and the other strong ladies in your life. For me that means my poor mum and godmother will probably get sick of hearing from me! I'm hoping it's just a quiet one as I don't think I physically have the energy to really do much. The idea of spending the days travelling about from house to house drains me let alone actually doing it! I'm hoping that I can stop being sick long enough to take advantage of some Boxing Day sales...hopefully we can then pick up some bargains!
I also don't have very long left at work and trying to make sure that I'm prepared to leave and not have that everyday. As much as I love being a mum, I really enjoy going to work and I'm quite scared of losing that sense of purpose. I'm also scared about leaving the work I care about in someone else's hands! I'm a slight control freak and I have my way of doing things and the thought of someone trampling all over that just terrifies me. I'm hoping to combat this with filling my time with things to do.
Unlike with Lily, I'll be on paid maternity leave and can drive! I'll have the freedom to actually go out and do things. I'm going to give baby groups another go (I know, I know). Now that I'm a little older, I'm hoping they won't be as daunting and frankly as judgmental but we'll wait and see. I'm also hoping to spend some more time with my dad. He's normally home alone a lot while we're all at work and university.
We recently took a trip to Bluewater in Kent to buy somethings that we were missing. The thing with thinking you'll only be having one child is that you give a lot away so after going through what we do have, we realised there were a few key things missing. It was nice to do it as a family and to get Lily involved. She picked a white JellyCat bunny for the baby to have to match her own grey one (known as little moon bunny, thank you Topsy & Tim). She said they needed one each to snuggle which I thought was lovely.
It was also good to look at the new things we need such as breast pumps. I never breastfed at all with Lily. I had no desire or want to do it so never even bothered, just formula fed her from day one. Shopping for these is incredibly confusing and it looks as if you pay anything from £30 - £200 for the exact same thing. It's something that's become one of the hardest decisions we've made. We are very lucky to have been sent some bottles by the wonderful team at Hegen (who we saw recently at The Baby Show) and finding a breast pump to suit their adapters would be brilliant as it means we could pump straight into their storage containers and just add a bottle top when needed. They do offer a manual breast pump but right now, we're looking into both manual and electric (not really sure if ones better than the other).